Galloping Nelly

Funerals  have been a big topic in the past year. Almost all of my friends (and me) have had grandparents or family members die — all of which were sad occasions.

But in nearly every instance, we were able to find something funny.

For example, about 20 minutes before grandpa’s funeral (which was the day before my birthday), a friend of mine slipped me a birthday card that contained a half-naked man and a big bar of chocolate.

And when riding back from the cemetery after the burial, the pastor inquired about whether I’d paid out the $500 bounty to the person who finds me a husband. (I’d offered this to a kindergartner at a church potluck the month prior. The pastor happened to be sitting next to him.)

So a few weeks ago, Mom was at a funeral for a old man who used to live down the road. She ran into his granddaughter, who is my age and occasionally came to church events when she was in the area, and then we were in the same sorority in college.

The granddaughter asked what I was up to, and mom gave her the short story, but suggested that she check out my blog — she could google Galloping Nelly and find it.

After the funeral, it occurred to mom that if one googles Galloping Nelly, one might find porn. So she tried it.

Guess what she found?

Andover Roots.

Yes, my brother had been blogging for a month and hadn’t told anyone. The clue that called him out was referring to himself as the brother of Galloping Nelly. Word travels fast by horseback.

The first time I saw a bluetooth headset, I was getting my nails done in Bucktown. A girl walked in while my cuticles were soaking, and at first I thought she had some bizarre mechanism to deal with a hearing problem. Then she started talking into space. Loudly.

I started seeing people on Michigan Avenue with those strange things in their ears. And eventually it dawned on me that those things I was convinced were hearing aids were actually phones.

Seriously, you people who walk around with your earpieces in all day are weird! You’re supposed to wear earrings in your ears, not have things that ring in your ears.

In fact, I was talking to someone last week who was at a conference where one of the attendees wore her headset the ENTIRE time.

I think I will buy one tomorrow.

Last summer I volunteered to make flower girl dresses for Kim’s wedding, which is coming up in two weeks. One hot day last July, the two of us headed to Vogue Fabrics on Roosevelt to figure out what to make. We found the perfect smokey plum fabric to match her bridesmaid dress, and a cute pattern for a simple tank dress.

The fabric sat in the “unmade sewing projects” corner of my bedroom for about six months, and in January we measured the two girls so that I could get started.

Big challenge.

One is a teeny little stick of a five-year-old. The other, age 7, she’s — well, not so small. We’d bought the largest child-size pattern we could find, but after getting the measurements, it was clear we were going to have to improvise.

We spent a good afternoon over the MLK holiday working through what amounted to a big math story problem for the bigger girl’s dress. I decided to mock one up in muslin first so that we could be absolutely certain of the fit. So I dug through my own stash of patterns and pieced something together. (The little girl’s one was easy — she was exact to the pattern.)

Of course, operating on Nelly Time, I waited until just about the last minute to make the second dress. Yesterday I spent the whole day sewing (while watching a couple movies including “Keeping the Faith”, and about twenty shows on HGTV and E!). I ripped apart the muslin mock-up, cut the whole thing out, and put together the bodice. Today I put together the skirt and sewed the two together, so that we could trek to the suburbs for a final fitting.

Voila! It worked.

Now I just have to put in the zipper, and hem both the lining and the sheer overlay. (Mind you, this is no small task. The circumference of the skirt is gigantic!) The final touch is white trim of small organza flowers that will go around the neck.