You’re listening to FM 90.3, GALN, Galloping Public Radio. This is Inquiring Minds, and I’m your host, Nelly.
Today we’re here with the talk of the town — a man who is the source of much speculation — Mr. Farmer.
Nelly: Tell us, Farmer, how did you get your pseudonym?
Farmer: You gave it to me.
Nelly: Where are you from?
Farmer: North suburbs of Chicago.
Nelly: What is your occupation?
Farmer: I engineer and sell commercial HVAC systems.
Nelly: In other words you figure out how to blow hot air?
Farmer: Only when you pull my finger. It’s a gift.
Nelly: Do you have any pets?
Farmer: Not anymore.
Nelly: Did you eat them?
Farmer: (Blank stare)
Nelly: How many plaid shirts do you have?
Farmer: At least a dozen.
Nelly: How many pairs of jeans do you have that you DIDN’T purchase at Cabelas or Wal-Mart?
Farmer: Four. I prefer Kohl’s.
Nelly: What occupation other than your current one would you like to try?
Farmer: I’d like to create a company that sells residential ground source heat pumps.
Nelly: What is your avatar for me on your phone?
Farmer: Mud flap girl.

Nelly: Clearly she looks nothing like me. Her hair is much too long. Uh, which painting did you like best today at the Art Institute?
Farmer: Gas Station by Edward Hopper.

Nelly: What did you eat for lunch?
Farmer: A pulled pork sandwich on a Cuban roll at The Gage.
Nelly: What’s the most exciting thing that happened to you this weekend?
Farmer: That’s tough. I took the bus for the first time using my new CTA card. And I have my own personal parking space a block from your house, thanks to you.
Nelly: What song are you currently learning to play on guitar?
Farmer: Bad Moon Rising. I’ll serenade you soon.
Nelly: If you had to pick a structure for your back yard, would you choose a tent or a shed?
Farmer: Shed. But only if it had a cement floor.
Nelly: You have a hair in your nose.
Farmer: Thank you.
Nelly: When will this baseball game be over?
Farmer: We can watch something else.
Nelly: My hero.
There you have it folks, the scoop on Mr. Farmer.
Do you have burning questions for Mr. Farmer? Simply post a comment, rub your stomach and pat your head at the same time.
Next week on Inquiring Minds, we’ll explore the psyche of my cat, Nette. ’Til next time, this is Nelly. Bringing you the news you want to know.