Dating the Apostles

Until I moved the the upper Midwest, I didn’t realize the extent to which men in my age group have Biblical names. I grew up with names like Trustan, Deon, Todd, Jason, Kevin, Ryan — new age ’70s names. I guess there were a few from the Christian tradition, but it didn’t really cross my mind. 

Now my life is controlled by apostles. I work for Peter, Mark, Timothy and John. I’ve dated Andrew, Paul and Peter.

January has been the month of Matthew.

Last night I went on date #1 with Matt #3. To clarify, Matt #2 went by “Matthew”, which most any other Matt would say is a pansy sin. (He told me he chose his apartment based on close proximity to the zoo because he liked to go there often to look at the animals. Let’s just say it didn’t mesh with my pet-eating upbringing.)

I made the first move a few days after Christmas by sending Matt #3 a wink on He then went on vacation, was away for a weekend, and I was busy washing my hair, so we didn’t get together until a full month later.

So in typical first date fashion (rule: date lasts no longer than one hour), we met up for coffee and a get-acquainted chat. We shared funny travel stories, talked about our relatives and then proceeded to talk about Christmas traditions (in true apostle style).

A few years ago, while his family was unwrapping presents, his dad was given a rather strange looking gift “from Jamal.” Not knowing anyone named Jamal, he opened the gift, to find a hideous Virgin Mary nightlight. Finally his brother-in-law cracked up and confessed.

Apparently the Virgin Mary gadget now makes its rounds, mysteriously appearing in people’s glove boxes, freezers and underwear drawers.

Perhaps Our Lady of Jamal will save the two sinners in our family who have bestowed the gift of the movie Showgirls on unsuspecting relatives.


3 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    […] Then I came across photos of the fine specimens in the Australian version. I vote for Peter. But then again, we all know about my habit of dating apostles. […]

  2. 2

    […] for a dreamy date to Italy. I had the house, I could get the plane ticket in a snap. But despite inviting several apostles over the course of that 18-months, I made the wise decision to take Jenn. And as you know, we had a […]

  3. 3

    Sounds crazy. Are you interested in my jolly trap Wanna very nice joke?)) What’s happening when you hear “woof…splat…meow…splat?” It’s raining cats and dogs.

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