News from Lake Wobegon

Mayor Gets Heads-Up 

A couple weeks ago, I reported from the frontlines of the political hotbed of W in my post The Hometown Paper. At that time, a “meet the candidates” forum was being held at the Senior Center for the four eager city council candidates and two candidates for mayor. This stuck me as funny, given that the town only has 139 residents — most of whom are related to each other.

Ladies and gentlemen, I’m pleased to report that we have a winner.

It was a nailbiter. 46 votes were cast for mayor, resulting in a 23-23 tie. The race was decided by a coin toss.

Clearly people stood evenly divided on the issue of whether the old football field would be turned into one grand junkyard, instead of each individual having their own.

Wheat Crop Meets Grim Reaper

In other news, farmers in Lake Wobegon sat in frozen silence on Friday night as their hopes of a bumper crop were dashed by Old Man Winter. The lush green wheat, reported as “tallest in memory,” was struck by the night’s low temperature of 17 degrees, freezing it to death.

Traders were a hot commodity on Sunday, as farmers rushed to buy July wheat contracts when electronic overnight trading opened at 6 p.m.

The afflicted commented, “Well, better luck next year,” before heading off to sing Kum-Ba-Ya at the Easter morning church brunch.

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