RSVPs and Registry

RSVPs

It felt soooo good to get the invites out, but of course the mailman opened up a pickle jar with the RSVPs. If you didn’t write a return address on them, they’re arriving to our post office, where they’re being held hostage until Monday because they’re 1/4 inch too small to mail. Rats. If you put a return label on them, they’re probably coming back to you. In that case, just post a comment to the blog or send me or Mr. Farmer and e-mail, and we’ll put a big YES or NO by your name. Also let us know if you’re planning to ride the bus from and back to the hotel.

This is not, however, a pass for doing the 700 word essay if you send regrets. We accept those via e-mail, blog, or Pony Express.

Registry

We’re registered at Target and Dillards. People have asked what we really want, or what we really need. The answer is that all of our kitchen stuff is from college, which we acquired from our grandparents discards, and you can see through our towels. And we are currently eating off paper towels on the 5% of the days that we aren’t either eating out or munching Mini Wheats straight out of the box followed by a swig of milk straight from the jug.

(Just kidding on the milk thing. I have an extreme aversion to drinking out of bottles after someone else, especially myself after more than 2 hours. Farmer doesn’t seem to have this hang up, after years of “going a week with only a canteen.”)

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7 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    Diane said,

    Lori,
    Please add Wally and I to your attendence list. We look forward to seeing you then. I loved your invitations. Diane

  2. 2

    Andrea said,

    Cheers!

    I will be in attendance, and will not require your chariot! =)

    Andrea

  3. 3

    Joel and Jen Mehr said,

    April 2, 2009

    Shucks, Can’t Come: An Essay

    by Jen and Joel Mehr

    It is with great regret that we must tell you that we are not able to attend the joyous occasion of your nuptuals on April 25th. We write this to explain (in 700 words) not only why we cannot attend, but also how distraught we are over it. Though this essay may be lighthearted, please understand that we really are disappointed to have to miss it. In this essay, we will describe the hopes we had for attending, why we cannot attend, and how we feel about it.

    We had always hoped, indeed planned, to attend. We were thrilled at the prospect of watching both of you lovely people walk down that aisle, exchange vows, and kiss for the first time as man and wife. We looked forward to seeing the hundreds of bulbs that Lori planted in the fall, as well as the barn that has been spruced up for the occasion. For goodness sake, we’ve never been to a wedding in a barn! Come to think of it, we’ve never even really been in a barn. Is your barn the kind Charlotte would use to spin her web?

    Besides seeing the barn, we wanted to say that we had, in fact, set foot in the middle of Kansas. Who can say they’ve done that? Maybe 50 or 100 people, tops? Did you know that there are 64,414 farms in Kansas? Wow! What a great state. I don’t want to go into a whole description of Kansas now. It’s entirely too much work. I’m sure you know all about it.

    We want to explain, in all seriousness, why we are unable to attend. As you may know, Joel just began a new job in February after being laid off from Blue Man Group in December. Although this is good news for us, we took a bit of a hit for those few months. Before Joel started his job, we had still hoped we could make it work, but his new schedule makes it nearly impossible. The company doesn’t allow new employees to take days off during their first three months.

    As if this weren’t enough, we really need to do some grocery shopping. I mean, we’re almost out of yogurt. Normally, we do our grocery shopping on April 25th, most years. Once, we did in on April 23rd, because of a gas leak on our block. There were fire trucks and everything. It was scary, to tell the truth. No one was hurt, mind you. But we were pretty shaken up. Well, actually, our neighbor, Leonard, had a parakeet who died. We really don’t want to relive that nightmare, just to attend the most important day of your lives. Nothing personal.

    Shit, seven hundred words is a lot of words.

    Oh, did you hear the one about the goat? Okay, so this goat walks into a bar. Wait, that’s too dirty.

    Oh! So this Italian guy walks into a bar and says, “Hey! My wife just gave birth to a beautiful bambino. Wow, what a baby. He’s so beautiful. Twenty-five pounds! The drinks are on me!” He proceeds to buy everybody a drink. He leaves and comes back a week later, proud as can be.
    “Hey,” the bartender asks, “How’s that son of yours doing?”
    “Oh,” he says, “What a bambino! He’s a beautiful baby.”
    “Well, tell me, how much does he weigh?”
    “Seventeen pounds!” exclaimed the man, proudly.
    “Seventeen pounds?” asked the bartender, “What happened?”
    “We had him circumcised!”

    Hey, did we tell you? We bought a new hairdryer. Yeah, ours broke so we got a new one. It’s the same model as the other one. From Target.

    We really do enjoy string cheese.

    Honestly, we feel really terrible that we won’t be at your wedding. We were so excited to come when you were both first telling us the plans. Actually, come to think of it, Lori was telling us the plans. Derek was in the other room.

    We hope to see lots of pictures. May your wedding day be as magical as ours was.

    That’s six hundred and ninety-six!

    Love,
    Jen and Joel

  4. 4

    […] expressing regrets for not making it to the wedding! I think this one is going to be tough to beat. Cllick here and then scroll to the […]

  5. 5

    Traci said,

    Cooper & I will be there! Unfortunately Blake has to work. ;-(

  6. 6

    Karen said,

    YES for Mrs. Bonar and Mr. Shepherd, photographers. 🙂

    I mailed it last week sometime, but haven’t seen it back. Of course, I’ve been gone for a week and my husband has forgotten what I look like. 😉

  7. 7

    Beth said,

    Lori: I will be there and I am looking forward to it. I will be driving myself from the Salt City! Loved the invites, so creative.


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